what just happened?

Hubby is having to go on this training and will be away for a week. He leaves and suddenly, I feel incomplete. Like I don't know what to do with myself anymore. What happened to me???

I remember being independent and self-sufficient. I used to live alone, travel alone, sometimes even work on complex projects alone. Well, I still am self-sufficient if it means having the ability to make money. But other than that, I don't know how to be alone anymore. 

So here I am... sitting in front of my computer for the past three hours trying hard to ignore the emptiness in this house. Before he left I told him, this is why he has to let me die ahead of him. So I wouldn't have to live without him. Because I don't know just how to do that anymore. He said, we'll go together and jump off a cliff in our 80s. Or something. 

I know that's mushy and sweet, but that's not the point. I hate losing the strength to rely on myself. I hate feeling like this... feeling like I cannot function because a part of me is missing. Not good at all.