sleepless night...

It's 4 AM and sleep remains elusive. You know what that means! No? Well, it means random thoughts are running through my head like bullet trains going to different directions. Even I can't keep up with my own thoughts.

First off... LIFE. It moves on. People who were sick yesterday are gone today. Those who were once young are now aging. And people who were once an integral part of your life could eventually fade away. Yikes! Too much drama. I think it is all coming from this sadness of leaving yet another great group of people at work who have now become my friends. I guess the cycle of 'hellos' and 'goodbyes' continues. But the hardest part is turning over my workload. I have so many things going on right now at work, I don't know where to start!

Then we have to move out of our city apartment. And clean it up real good so the leasing company won't charge us extra. We already have extended our stay here more than we wanted to. I need all the pennies we could save for my new goal: get a new Fifi.

Not sure if I have mentioned it here before, but Fifi is my oldie but goodie car. She's a Ford who can take all the beatings from an Asian female driver who deserves all the driving stereotypes out there. Did I really just say that? We practiced driving together and passed all the tests for the new state driver's license. We had to use a little charm to calm down the ever-grumpy DMV guy but we did it. Together, we hit the stupid ditch at the end of our driveway everyday for a week before we learned how to navigate around it.

We took on the new city together, got lost in the new company's monster maze (called their parking lot), suffered through a couple of flat tires together (both within the first two months) and made friends with the new neighbors -- the Firestone guys who tweaked her a few times and now call her by her first name (funny, they probably remember Fifi's name more than mine). Did she just upstage me there? 

Oh, and we drove all the way to Canada together. Ok, Hubby was there too doing his usual backseat driving but we had fun! Seven-hour drive at 70 65mph from one country to another. It was exciting to cross the border together like a finish line after a race. We had a bunch more of interstate driving together, not as exciting but pretty terrifying for the first few times. We grabbed on to each other, me white-knuckled, and she with her wheel sweating like crazy. Don't even ask about Hubby on the passenger seat. The entire time, he had this look on his face as if wishing he's anywhere but there.

But recently, she made the mistake of backing up into a Dodge. She dented its passenger door real bad and then I looked at her and I couldn't even tell she did what she did. No scratch or dent whatsoever! She just sat there looking all innocent. And yeah, I'm pretty sure it was all her fault. 

Oh man, after reminiscing all these memories Fifi and I had together... how can I let her go now? The thing is,  she will always be special to me. She's my first car. And nobody forgets their first car. But life moves on. And we need to move with it. I don't think I can keep her and watch her die on me. I don't think she wants that either.

Second of all... yeah we're just on the second thought, I'm sure I'm counting this right... my big toe hurts like hell. It was fine this morning, but later in the day it started swelling and now it hurts and is adding another reason to this sleepless night. I gave it a combo of hydrogen peroxide and neosporin. Hopefully, it will be all better by tomorrow. Hey it IS tomorrow now. So maybe later? Ugh!!!

Then there's the wedding in a couple of weeks. As a bridesmaid, I volunteered to buy the cheesecakes and drive them for two hours to get to the couple's house. Poor planning on my part. Now we have to buy them a week before to save a trip. I guess I can do the buying and hubby can do the driving.

Speaking of wedding, I hope my friend gets hitched soon. I want to finally see her all settled and happily married. Hopefully in the near future. Fingers crossed. And toes (even if one of them hurts.) If you're reading this, you know who you are. I'm excited to make that trip to Manila for your wedding!

So much to do. Life is crazy busy. On and on it goes.

All I want to do is get a good night sleep.